Can God be Trusted?
From University of Toronto Chinese Christian Fellowship
Do we really know the things that we think we know? As Christians, do you really know this God that you worship? And for those who are in searching, does this journey in seeking for the truth is really worth it?...
I became Christian when I was in grade 9. Just a couple months after I got baptized, my dad passed away because of heart attack. It was really sudden, none of us expected it, there was no sign, nothing. I’m really thankful, even up to this point, that even when I was still really new in my faith in Christ, God gave me grace to hang on tight to this faith in him, and literally survived it until today.
But what I cannot deny is the fact that there were questions about what God was doing in my life. I could not understand why He had to take my dad so soon, or what kind of good that could come from it. For quite a while I pushed those questions aside and thought that if I were a good and strong Christian, I would never ever question God or whatever things that he allows to happen in my life.
We all know that as we grow up, things are getting more complicated and harder, and so is my life. Lots of challenges that we had to face as a family, both financially and emotionally after Dad left us. I guess, those things made the questions even stronger and more intense, yet I still tried to suppress it and still thinking, that I shouldn’t question God at all. Yet at the same time, there were times when I was really asking myself if following God was really worth the trouble, trying to trust in this God, that I cannot see.. What if all of these were just a joke? What if all of these were not real?? God, for me , at that time was more like my Master… Whenever I pray, I can only call Him as my “ Lord”, my “ Master”, but it was really hard and I could never get it out from my mouth the word “ Father”. If I cannot trust him, how can I call him as my Father? I was close to Him, yet at the same time, I was distant…
Last October, something happened within my family. And come to think of it right now, I see that those were God’s grace for me, His grace to draw me closer to Him, to really help me to deal with the truth and find the truth about who He really is. I was forced to look closely to what was going on in my heart. The questions that I had been trying to hide for the longest time came up to the surface, and this time, I knew that I had to deal with it, no more hiding, no more running away.
It began with questions like why everything happened to me, but it quickly turned into a question of God’s wisdom.. of why, in the first place, he allowed all of this to happen to me? Soon, I started to face that question of trust again. At that time, the question became clear… Can God be trusted? Is God really Just? Is God really merciful? Does God really care about me? When I plead Him to make things better, does he really listen? If yes, why don’t I see anything change?
My faith was shaken to the core. I really thought that I would lose my faith, and there was that temptation. Yet at the same time, I knew that if I ever lost my faith in God, I’ve lost everything in this life. God was real at that time, I could feel His presence, I knew that He listened to my anger and frustration, yet at the same time, I felt that He was not on my side… It was probably the darkest moment of my life.
God blessed me with lots of good friends who prayed for me and a great pastor with his wisdom. My pastor challenged me with this, “ If you want a quick solution, deny Christ. Mess up your life, because it’s a mess anyway…” At that moment, as harsh as it sounds, God used him to show me the light. I started look really deep into my heart my stand with him. Does this faith really worth it? Does my faith in Christ worth pursuing, worth fighting for, worth living, and worth dying for?... And I came with a “YES!”
I knew that you guys probably tell me but what about those questions?... God hasn’t answered You! I knew that too. Yet at the same time, a new faith in God starts to grow. This trust that I’ve never had before in God… to trust my life into His hand, to really believe that no matter what life throws at me, He is in control. He is just, He is merciful, He is kind, He is good and He can be trusted. That’s the most important thing. I see that all of my questions rooted on this one question, can God be trusted? God opened my eyes and made me see that it is only because of his faithfulness that I am still here and giving this testimony to you. So YES! For me, God has answered my question,GOD CAN BE TRUSTED.
I don’t know the state were you are right now. Some of you might be looking for God, looking for the truth, the purpose and the meaning of your life, and this is your start.. Some of you just started to know Christ and in the process of learning so much more about Him.. and just maybe, some of you are in the place where I was 2 months ago, you believe in God, yet at the same time you have tons of questions and even doubts in your head and perhaps, you are on your last straw. What I want to leave you with is this… Jesus gave us this promise “ Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened for you.” I challenge for you to come just as you are, with all the concern, the questions, anger, frustration, whatever that you are going through right now, and ask Him, sincerely with all your heart for Him to reveal Himself to you. Realize this truth, that God will not be offended by your questions or your doubts, instead, He honors your honesty.. I believe the questions of life and the questions of who God really is can only be answered by God Himself. Bring them to God… Keep asking, keep searching, and keep knocking, and do not give up.. This journey is worth it, it even worth so much more than what you can even imagine. It can change your life…. My question for you, would you give God a chance to answer your question and your doubts?
The choice is yours.